Beauty

I have been wanting to talk about beauty for a while now and after the post the other day about Little A and being beautiful, I pushed this along a little. 

(Post found here.)

This has been on my mind from the beginning of starting this blog. It is a main part of pursuing the Proverbs 31 kind of life. 

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

Honor her for all that her hands have done, 

and let her works bring her praise at the city gate. 

Proverbs 31:30-31

Our society values beauty. It holds it in high esteem. It shows us that it is something that is to be longed for and pursued. That beauty can get you places in life and that without it you will fall short on many levels. 

Everywhere we look we are bombarded with what the world sees as beautiful. It is plastered everywhere we look and is talked and sang about nearly just as much. 

We all know the damaging effects of societies view of beauty. I think that it is the enemies number one attack against women. And all too often we fall into the trap with such ease. 

The Lord tells us time and time again how much He adores us. How He created us in his image, how we are made for a purpose, and made how we are meant to be. 

The bible also tells us that we should find our beauty from what is in us. 

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.

1 Peter 3:3-4

Being that I recently had a baby I have really been struggling with finding beauty in the way that I look.  It really is hard to look in the mirror and say, "wow, I look good today" when your hair is a mess, your shoulders are covered in vomit and nothing fits the way that it used to. 

Not that it was any easier doing that before I got pregnant, or while I was pregnant.  Honestly, I could probably count on both hands the number of times that I looked in the mirror and truly felt beautiful (the way the world sees beauty). 

one of the many horrible looking faces I often ruin pictures with

When I got married, my parents tried to put together a slideshow of hubby and I as we grew up and then of the two of us while we were dating and engaged. Apparently, they had a horrible time finding nice pictures of me because most of them were of me making a stupid face. Somewhere around 14 I started making faces in photos. I got it into my head that I was going to hate how the picture looked anyway so I might as well just make it a purposefully bad photo. 

There was one day that really stands out, from my pregnancy with Little E, when I felt particularly horrible.(I have shared about this day before)  I hadn't gained nearly as much weight as I had with my first, but I still felt like a bus. My hair was doing crazy things because of my hormones, my legs were starting to swell and I just really felt horrible overall. We were trying to head to church, we were running behind (of course), and I could not find a single thing that fit me well. Finally I threw something on, felt horrible in it, and didn't even bother with makeup or much more than running a comb through my hair. 

As we were driving to church I rolled my eyes as hubby said that I looked nice and that the outfit fit well. I looked at my reflection in the car mirror and started to tear up as I tried to fix my crazy mess of hair. 

After church, hubbies grandparents took us out for lunch. I was hesitant to go because lets be honest, the less people we saw the better and my legs were throbbing.  As we sat and enjoyed lunch with his wonderful grandparents some people from church were being led to a table nearby. A lovely, kind and truly beautiful ( inside and out) woman, Karen, stopped to talk to me about my pregnancy and to tell me how amazing I looked. She couldnt believe I was as far along in the pregnancy as I was and she thought I was glowing, she sat down at her table and continued to comment about how great I looked. 

I almost broke down right there.  My face turned an Elmo color of red and I was in shock. It was so hard to take her compliments, they were so real and heartfelt but they were completely the opposite of how I had felt about myself all day. 

There are many times that I can remember from this last week alone, that hubby has told me I am beautiful. I know that he appreciates how I look and who I am as a person. 

But when he says it something t inside me yells, "no your not" or "how can he really think that, hasn't he seen your love handles(or whatever other body part is upsetting me at the time)"

That voice that I hear is not a voice of my own. It has been there for a long time. So long that I now hear it as my own voice and ignore the fact that it is not my own. The lies of the enemy have been spoken to me for so long that I have accepted them as truth. I struggle to see beauty in myself, both outer beauty and inner beauty. 

I know that there are countless women just like me who fail to see the Beauty of the Creator in themselves.  We listen to the lies. We accept them as truth. We question the creation of our Creator, who made us exactly how He wanted us to be.

Shall what is formed say to the one who formed it,
    “You did not make me”?
Can the pot say to the potter,
    “You know nothing”?
Isaiah 29:16 (excerpt)

It is time to change that in myself.  It is time to shut down the lies and accept the real truth. 

I know that its a few days late for making resolutions, and I hate making them. So instead of making a resolution to change, how about saying a prayer today to bring change into our lives.  

If you are like me and you struggle to hear that you are beautiful. If you receive a compliment and then have a million lies telling you all of the other "horrible" things about yourself. If you look in the mirror and don't like what you see. Will you pray this prayer with me today. 

Dear God
You are the maker of the universe. You are the creator of all that is beautiful in this world. Father, thank you for making me beautiful. Thank you for making me the way that I am, and for making me for your purpose. 
Today I ask that you would show me your Beauty. And show me your Beauty in me. Teach me to see myself as beautiful and perfectly made. Teach me to accept the way that you made me and to not question your creation. I am sorry for hating something that you love. 
God I ask that your love would pour over me and that I would feel an overwhelming love whenever I hear the lies of the enemy about myself. Deafen my ears to the hateful things that the enemy spews about me. And open the ears and the eyes of my heart to hear from you. 
Father I ask that you would break off the plans that the enemy has for me. Break away the lies that I have believed and plant new seeds of your love. 
Thank you for making me and loving me more than I could ever imagine.  
Amen. 

If you prayed that with me, make it your prayer for the day, the week, the month. Whatever it needs to be. Just pray that God pours his love out over you and breaks off the lies of the enemy. And then be prepared for a battle. 

When we become aware of the enemies attacks against us, when we fight back, he will push back harder.  He will spew so many lies, so much hatred against you and the Beauty that God created you with. You need to be prepared for a fight. 

Put on the belt of truth and hold onto the sword of the word of God. Read and find the words of the Fathers love that you can hold onto. Let Him speak to you and fill you with His truth. 

Questions about Salvation

Sorry for the inactivity lately. It has been a crazy time for us since being back from our Christmas Holidays. We had a busy week with hubby going back to work and Little A's 2nd birthday yesterday.



I was on Bible Gateway today and their verse of the day is 1 Peter 1:13.
I wanted to share this verse in context with you because reading it has reminded me of a few things.

Therefore, with minds that are alert and fully sober, set your hope on the grace to be brought to you when Jesus Christ is revealed at his coming. As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do;  for it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy.” 

 Since you call on a Father who judges each person’s work impartially, live out your time as foreigners here in reverent fear. For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your ancestors, but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect. He was chosen before the creation of the world, but was revealed in these last times for your sake. Through him you believe in God, who raised him from the dead and glorified him, and so your faith and hope are in God.

 Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for each other, love one another deeply, from the heart. For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God. For,

“All people are like grass,
    and all their glory is like the flowers of the field;
the grass withers and the flowers fall,

    but the word of the Lord endures forever.”

And this is the word that was preached to you.

1 Peter 1:13-25

During our visit with my family this Christmas, one of the conversations that I had with my dad was about salvation. 

The question my dad posed to the group of us, was wether or not you are still saved if you walk away from God? If you don't live life the way we are called? If we are going to church but not doing anything else? If we only became christians for someone else or for fear of damnation?

Are we really followers of Christ if we dont live the way He called us to live?

Over and over Jesus called men to follow Him. He called the disciples and told them to follow Him, leave behind all that they had and follow. 

Leave their old lives to follow. Leave their sin.

So, again I ask. If we don't change are we really following?


I don't have the answers. I know that I feel like I fall short.  That I do not walk in the path I am supposed to. That I fall back into my old life, my sinful ways.  And I know that someday I will stand and be judged for that.  

I was raised by parents who led Sunday school and there was always four main things that they taught. 

- All have sinned.  (Romans 3:23)
-There is only one way to heaven.    (John 14:6) ( John 3:16)
         By His wounds we are healed. (Isaiah 53)
- Its a free gift.  (John 1:12)

- Say thank you. (Luke 15:7) (this was normally a day for partying and was always the best)

Dad would always use a great visual example for the kids about how there is only one way to heaven. He would set a chair on one side of the stage and one at the opposite side. He would place a child on the one chair and then say, "okay, get to the other chair."
The child would then attempt to jump with all of their might to reach the other chair. 
Of course it was impossible. 

So he would ask for another volunteer and allow them to attempt to jump from one side to the other. Again they would fail. 

Then he would put a small child on the chair and tell them to ask for help from one of the other adult helpers. The adult would then carry the child from one chair to the other. 

Our sin is the gap between us and God. We have sinned, and continue to do so, so we cannot reach God.  So Jesus bridges the gap.  We cannot, by our own strength, goodness, wealth, or otherwise, get to heaven on our own.   He is the only way that we can reach heaven.

One of the other things that my dad has told me many times in my life is that there is nothing we can do to make God love us more or less. 

Its impossible. He loves us more than we can ever fathom. He created us for him to love.

We were the ones that screwed it up and we still do. 

And yet He still loves us. He loved us enough to send His son to die for us and He stands at the door and knocks, waiting, hoping that we will answer and let him in. 

All that to say that, I guess, what I believe, is that God's love will never go away. 

If we turn our backs, He will keep knocking. 

If we continue to sin, He will keep loving.  (and calling us to follow Him)

If we don't have a deep personal relationship with Him, He will keep pursuing. 

I think that if we receive Him and believe in Him, then we are called the children of God. We may be screw ups and we may fall short, but that doesn't mean He loves us any less, it just means that we will have a lot of "splanen to do" when we get to judgement day. 

image

Yesterday, while playing with her toys and going up and down between the main floor and the family room, Little A said the scariest thing I have heard her say to date.

"I'm not beautiful," she said with the most matter of fact serious little girl voice.

My heart sank. I almost instantly started to cry as I pulled her close and told her that she was wrong. "You are the most beautiful little girl in the world, God made you perfectly and He loves you very much."

She has never said anything like that about herself. We are very good about telling her how special and beautiful God made her. At nearly two, she already knows that God made her special and He loves her very much. She has told us many times that she is beautiful and normally says it whenever we brush her hair or if she puts on a special outfit (any outfit she likes really).

I am not sure if she said what she did because she associates it with wearing something special, she had just taken off a necklace. But it was just so out of nowhere and it is so unlike her. Until this point she has been very confident in herself and the gifts God has given her. Normally we hear things like, "I'm gorgeous!" or "God made me a good singer." ( And no I am not worried about her becoming conceited, she is nearly two and I think that it is better to build her up as much as possibly now so that she maybe doubts it a little less later) 

It took me until the end of the day as I was talking to hubby about it, to realize that I only did one of the things I should have in the situation. Yes, it was important to talk to her and tell her the truth and that God made her exactly how she is supposed to be. 

But where I fell short is that I didn't immediately pray for her and with her. To break off the attack of the enemy immediately.  

Because thats what that is, an attack against her and the rest of her life. A lie from the enemy trying to get in and tell her something that will change her life forever.  

How many of us struggle with self image. With self loathing and a desire to change who we are and become something "better", more like the rest of the world. 

I myself have struggled with body image my whole life.  As a child I was fearful of becoming like my overweight extended family. I had always been the smallest in my own family and for a long time was very slim. When my body started to change and mature, it freaked me out. I was terrified that I was just going to get bigger and bigger. So I began to eat less and less. I would eat when I had to but would avoid eating much more than an apple if there wasn't anyone watching. 

My parents and sisters didnt even know anything was wrong. I kept it secret and tried to make everything seem normal. I never got to the point where I looked noticeably skinny and sickly. But given more time I am sure that it would have escalated to that. 

The breaking point of it all was a night I will always remember. We had eaten a huge family dinner, I had been barely eating for much longer than healthy and I was starving. I ate way more than I had allowed myself to in a long time. I felt sick.  I wanted to make myself puke so badly but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Once everyone went to bed I snuck into the kitchen to find some exlax. I figured at least that way I could get the food out of me quickly and my parents would just figure that I came down with some flu or something. 

Standing in the dimly lit kitchen holding a box of exlax, trying to decide how much to take, I broke. 

There was a battle going on in my head of what I knew to be truth and the lies that I had started to believe. I am sure that there was someone out there praying for me at that point because suddenly the darkness was broken, the lies were cast out of my mind and the truth became undeniable. I put the box back and went to bed with a full stomach that felt so good. 


If we are going to pray for our children and cannot find the words or specific things to pray for them, the best thing we can do is to pray the truth over them. That God will speak his truth into them all of the days of their lives. 

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 
John 1:1

Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth. 
John 17:17

The God we follow speaks truth, is truth. Pray that his voice will be the one that our children listen too. And fill them up with the words of God and teach them how much God loves them and how it was He who created them and made them exactly how they need to be and for a purpose. 

Shall what is formed say to the one who formed it,
    “You did not make me”?
Can the pot say to the potter,
    “You know nothing”?
Isaiah 29:16

Me and my Beautiful Little A