Last week I began to tell the story of the birth of my little girl. Read it Here.
The story of this little girl has been long and confusing. She was planned by God and his hand has been evident in her story from the beginning.
Looking back on the weeks leading up to her arrival I was terribly impatient. I wanted things to happen and to happen quickly. I read up on ways to induce labor and get things going, and tried a lot of them. Walking, Chinese food, spicy food, essential oils, greasy food, sex, reflexology, massage, squatting, and the kids and I even did zumba.
But, thankfully God is wiser than I. Thankfully He has a plan. And thankfully, He had my little girls life in His hands.
For I know the plans I have for you," declares The Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11
The Lord knows all human plans;
he knows that they are futile.
Psalm 94:11
When I left off, I was squatting and walking the halls. My contractions were continuing despite the nurse telling me that they would stop since I wasn't in real labor.
I was squatting in my room listening to worship music while waiting for hubby to return with some food. Suddenly I hear a mans voice outside of my room, not my husbands voice. For a second I assume it's just a person visiting in the room next door. But then my door opens and in walks my doctor (at 9 o'clock).
Thankfully, the aunt of a dear friend was on shift as a nurse that night, she had come to my room with my doctor so he could check on me. It was hard not to cry with joy as he said that things were progressing and that as soon as they had a room they would break my water and really get things moving.
Thank God for doctors that keep their word and check on you when they say they will.
Shortly after the doctor left Hubby arrived with my mom following shortly there after. Hubby, Mom and I tried to pass the time while we waited on a delivery room and we played games, walked the halls and chatted through contractions. It was really laid back and I was in a much better mood despite the mild to moderate pain. Knowing that she was coming and that I wasn't going to have to wait much longer really helped to lift my spirits.
At just after 11 we were finally taken down to a labour and delivery room. The doctor came and broke my water, I have had to have this done with each delivery and normally they brake it and I have the baby within an hour. This time, it hurt when he broke it and there just seemed to be a never ending amount of fluid. My other kids were so low by that point that they broke the water and barely anything could get out around theirgiant little heads.
The pain began to worsen after the doctor left so I got in the tub in hopes it would dull the pain a little. But I didn't last too long in the tub because I was just so uncomfortable and the pains were getting worse.
Now, here is where you need to know some background info. I have a pretty high pain tolerance for someone who has never had to endure much pain. I was induced with Little A and was talked into a demerol/gravol mix that made me really tired but numbed nothing of the pains. E Man was delivered naturally, no drugs, no gas, just breathing through the pain (and some groaning and crying). With E's delivery, my doctor assumed that I had an epidural because when he came in to deliver I was talking and laughing with Hubby and my mom. The dr was shocked when the nurse told him I hadn't taken any thing that they had offered for the pain.
So, back to this time, I got out of the tub and was in such immense pain that I started to loose it. I started sobbing and saying, " I can't do this! I don't want to do this!" Which Hubby has heard me say before, twice actually. Apparently I was saying the exact words I say every time I am moments away from delivery. So Hubby sent my mom to go and get the nurse, we were about to do this thing.
We were all wrong.
The nurse checked me and I was 4 cm!!
I cried worse at this point and tried to get through the onslaught of contractions while they made me lay in the bed hooked up to monitors again.
"I want the epidural," I managed to say between sobs and a contraction. "Wait, no I don't"
Contraction. "Yes! Yes I do want it. I can't do this."
The nurse sent for the anesthetist and Hubby consoled me because not only was I in a truckload of pain, I was getting an epidural and I was having a panic attack in my head as I weighed the risks with the pain.
I felt like a failure. I had done this whole labour and delivery thing twice before and made it through just fine. I had tossed around the idea during this last pregnancy that maybe it would be nice to have an epidural, see what all the fuss is about and not experience all the pains. But every time I really thought about it, I knew I probably wouldn't get one, they scare me too much.
By the time the anesthetist arrived I was fully convinced I was making the right choice. The contractions were just getting worse and nothing was helping me get through them. I couldn't understand how they were so painful when I was so early in labor.
They made me hug a pillow and arch my back. Told me not to move and they began their process. While they jabbed me with that giant needle ( I never looked, Hubby did and nearly passed out, he doesn't do so well with that kinda thing), I prayed. I prayed that God would pause my contractions so that I could get through the epidural stuff without moving. I prayed that there would be no mistakes and I would be able to walk after. And I prayed that it would work and that the pain would lessen.
I thank God that he answers prayers no matter how little and silly they seem.
I can honestly tell you I had a contraction as they made me hug the pillow and didn't have another for a good ten minutes. They had been 2 minutes apart.
They finished putting in the epidural and asked me to lay down. Somewhere in all of the needle stuff Hubby and Mom had switched places. Mom helped me to lay down and as I went down things started to go a little funny.
"Am I supposed to feel it in my head? My ears feel funny. My mouth tastes weir...." And then my eyes rolled back and I was out.
Apparently, my blood pressure dropped to 60/30 and I went unconscious. They started pumping me full of IV fluids and got me back awake fairly quickly. They said it was a reaction to the epidural, probably because I hadn't eaten much of anything all day. (Thank the Lord I snuck food after the grumpy nurse took out the medicine) After they got my blood pressure back up to a good range (thankfully baby did alright during all of that), they started to check if the epidural worked.
Now I can honestly say that I understand why people get them, no more pains, it was awesome.
Then the nurse tried to get me to rest and let things progress. But honestly, how do you rest after you face your fears and have a giant needle put in your back, then crash and go unconscious, I was so full of adrenaline, sleep was not going to happen. Thankfully, Hubby did manage to sleep and my mom rested a little while I tossed and turned on the bed and chatted with the lovely nurse for an hour or so.
We stayed like this for a while, Hubby sleeping, Mom resting, nurse checking my blood pressure and the babies almost constantly, and me laying wide awake waiting for baby and praying not to have a csection. Mom had left the room to grab a drink and use the restroom and I looked at the nurse and said, " Am I having a contraction?"
"No."
"But I am now, aren't I?"
"Yes, why can you feel that?"
"Yeah, it feels like as much pain as before the epidural."
"Is it pain or just pressure." She asks as mom enters the room again.
"Pain, and its not going away."
"I am just gonna check you, okay?.....
...You're 10 centimetres." says the excited nurse.
"Shut up! I am not!" I respond laughing.
We woke up the Hubby and the nurse started to ready herself and the room.
The pains got worse and I was kinda surprised I could feel anything. But she said that feeling it is good and it will help me know when to push. ( I kinda wish they had upped the dose so I wouldn't feel anything)
"How many babies have you delivered yourself?" I asked the nurse as she tried to ready everything as quick as she could.
"2, and I am not delivering yours." She quickly responded.
"Please, come on, just catch it, I just need to push!"
"No, Hold it in, he is almost here. I am not delivering your baby."
She did let me do a "practice push" to see how good I was at pushing but she immediately made me stop and told me not to do that again until the doctor came.
As I began to contemplate just doing it without her and catching it myself, the doctor finally arrived.
A couple pushes and the head was out.
But she was blue and the umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck, twice.
They told me not to push and it took everything in me not to, her head was out and I wanted her out.
They had to clamp both cords and cut them both before they allowed me to push the rest of her out.
Finally out, they placed her on my belly and tried to rub her. It was like "all hands on deck" as both nurses and myself were rubbing my blue little girl. Then one nurse scooped her up and took her across to a table and continued to rub her and clear her airways.
My doctor sat quietly trying to bring down the placenta and he left the baby to be tended to by the nurses. His face was stoic like he was completely focused on his task until the quiet lasted too long for him to bare and he left me to go to help.
Quiet.
A quiet that turned my husband pale white as he collapsed onto a chair, and caused my mom and I to sob as seconds felt like hours.
Then finally the most beautiful sound I have ever heard, the scream of my little girl cut through the silence. Shortly followed by laughter as she peed all over the table.
Baby Joy (as the kids have called her since last summer) scored 8 out of 10 on her first apgar and 10/10 on her second. She "fully" entered the world (there was some confusion on when they should say she was born because her head was out earlier) at 5:12 am on February 19th.
After all of the craziness died down and I finally got to hold my precious Joy, the doctor, a christian, looked at me and my mom and said, "Well, its obvious someone was watching out for you guys." To which my mom replied, "We all know who."
Talking with the nurse and the Doctor and looking at how things played out, we've learned a few things that point to Gods grace and his plan:
1. Even though I hated it, being overdue was a blessing because I was induced.
2. Because I was induced, myself and baby were monitored all day.
3. Likely, the reason I was overdue was because she couldn't drop low enough into the birth canal to help bring on labor. (She could have basically hung herself with her cord if she dropped earlier)
4. We were told that I should have had a cesarian section and even then it could have been iffy.
5. The added pain was likely because her head wasn't low enough to help things along
6. thankfully, I had extra pain because it caused me to have the epidural.
7. Without the epidural I don't think I could have made it through holding her in for so long while waiting for the doctor, or holding her in so they could clamp and cut the cords.
8. Thankfully, we had a nurse that wanted to play it safe and she forced us to wait. (After everything had settled, the nurse looked at me and said, "see thats why I always wait for the doctor.")
God has blessed us so much and has walked us through so much to get to this point. We are constantly reminded of his plans for us and for our family and each individual child. His hand is so evident.
Shortly after the doctor left Hubby arrived with my mom following shortly there after. Hubby, Mom and I tried to pass the time while we waited on a delivery room and we played games, walked the halls and chatted through contractions. It was really laid back and I was in a much better mood despite the mild to moderate pain. Knowing that she was coming and that I wasn't going to have to wait much longer really helped to lift my spirits.
At just after 11 we were finally taken down to a labour and delivery room. The doctor came and broke my water, I have had to have this done with each delivery and normally they brake it and I have the baby within an hour. This time, it hurt when he broke it and there just seemed to be a never ending amount of fluid. My other kids were so low by that point that they broke the water and barely anything could get out around their
The pain began to worsen after the doctor left so I got in the tub in hopes it would dull the pain a little. But I didn't last too long in the tub because I was just so uncomfortable and the pains were getting worse.
Now, here is where you need to know some background info. I have a pretty high pain tolerance for someone who has never had to endure much pain. I was induced with Little A and was talked into a demerol/gravol mix that made me really tired but numbed nothing of the pains. E Man was delivered naturally, no drugs, no gas, just breathing through the pain (and some groaning and crying). With E's delivery, my doctor assumed that I had an epidural because when he came in to deliver I was talking and laughing with Hubby and my mom. The dr was shocked when the nurse told him I hadn't taken any thing that they had offered for the pain.
So, back to this time, I got out of the tub and was in such immense pain that I started to loose it. I started sobbing and saying, " I can't do this! I don't want to do this!" Which Hubby has heard me say before, twice actually. Apparently I was saying the exact words I say every time I am moments away from delivery. So Hubby sent my mom to go and get the nurse, we were about to do this thing.
We were all wrong.
The nurse checked me and I was 4 cm!!
I cried worse at this point and tried to get through the onslaught of contractions while they made me lay in the bed hooked up to monitors again.
"I want the epidural," I managed to say between sobs and a contraction. "Wait, no I don't"
Contraction. "Yes! Yes I do want it. I can't do this."
The nurse sent for the anesthetist and Hubby consoled me because not only was I in a truckload of pain, I was getting an epidural and I was having a panic attack in my head as I weighed the risks with the pain.
I felt like a failure. I had done this whole labour and delivery thing twice before and made it through just fine. I had tossed around the idea during this last pregnancy that maybe it would be nice to have an epidural, see what all the fuss is about and not experience all the pains. But every time I really thought about it, I knew I probably wouldn't get one, they scare me too much.
By the time the anesthetist arrived I was fully convinced I was making the right choice. The contractions were just getting worse and nothing was helping me get through them. I couldn't understand how they were so painful when I was so early in labor.
They made me hug a pillow and arch my back. Told me not to move and they began their process. While they jabbed me with that giant needle ( I never looked, Hubby did and nearly passed out, he doesn't do so well with that kinda thing), I prayed. I prayed that God would pause my contractions so that I could get through the epidural stuff without moving. I prayed that there would be no mistakes and I would be able to walk after. And I prayed that it would work and that the pain would lessen.
I thank God that he answers prayers no matter how little and silly they seem.
I can honestly tell you I had a contraction as they made me hug the pillow and didn't have another for a good ten minutes. They had been 2 minutes apart.
They finished putting in the epidural and asked me to lay down. Somewhere in all of the needle stuff Hubby and Mom had switched places. Mom helped me to lay down and as I went down things started to go a little funny.
"Am I supposed to feel it in my head? My ears feel funny. My mouth tastes weir...." And then my eyes rolled back and I was out.
Apparently, my blood pressure dropped to 60/30 and I went unconscious. They started pumping me full of IV fluids and got me back awake fairly quickly. They said it was a reaction to the epidural, probably because I hadn't eaten much of anything all day. (Thank the Lord I snuck food after the grumpy nurse took out the medicine) After they got my blood pressure back up to a good range (thankfully baby did alright during all of that), they started to check if the epidural worked.
Now I can honestly say that I understand why people get them, no more pains, it was awesome.
Then the nurse tried to get me to rest and let things progress. But honestly, how do you rest after you face your fears and have a giant needle put in your back, then crash and go unconscious, I was so full of adrenaline, sleep was not going to happen. Thankfully, Hubby did manage to sleep and my mom rested a little while I tossed and turned on the bed and chatted with the lovely nurse for an hour or so.
We stayed like this for a while, Hubby sleeping, Mom resting, nurse checking my blood pressure and the babies almost constantly, and me laying wide awake waiting for baby and praying not to have a csection. Mom had left the room to grab a drink and use the restroom and I looked at the nurse and said, " Am I having a contraction?"
"No."
"But I am now, aren't I?"
"Yes, why can you feel that?"
"Yeah, it feels like as much pain as before the epidural."
"Is it pain or just pressure." She asks as mom enters the room again.
"Pain, and its not going away."
"I am just gonna check you, okay?.....
...You're 10 centimetres." says the excited nurse.
"Shut up! I am not!" I respond laughing.
We woke up the Hubby and the nurse started to ready herself and the room.
The pains got worse and I was kinda surprised I could feel anything. But she said that feeling it is good and it will help me know when to push. ( I kinda wish they had upped the dose so I wouldn't feel anything)
"How many babies have you delivered yourself?" I asked the nurse as she tried to ready everything as quick as she could.
"2, and I am not delivering yours." She quickly responded.
"Please, come on, just catch it, I just need to push!"
"No, Hold it in, he is almost here. I am not delivering your baby."
She did let me do a "practice push" to see how good I was at pushing but she immediately made me stop and told me not to do that again until the doctor came.
As I began to contemplate just doing it without her and catching it myself, the doctor finally arrived.
A couple pushes and the head was out.
But she was blue and the umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck, twice.
They told me not to push and it took everything in me not to, her head was out and I wanted her out.
They had to clamp both cords and cut them both before they allowed me to push the rest of her out.
Finally out, they placed her on my belly and tried to rub her. It was like "all hands on deck" as both nurses and myself were rubbing my blue little girl. Then one nurse scooped her up and took her across to a table and continued to rub her and clear her airways.
My doctor sat quietly trying to bring down the placenta and he left the baby to be tended to by the nurses. His face was stoic like he was completely focused on his task until the quiet lasted too long for him to bare and he left me to go to help.
Quiet.
A quiet that turned my husband pale white as he collapsed onto a chair, and caused my mom and I to sob as seconds felt like hours.
Then finally the most beautiful sound I have ever heard, the scream of my little girl cut through the silence. Shortly followed by laughter as she peed all over the table.
Baby Joy (as the kids have called her since last summer) scored 8 out of 10 on her first apgar and 10/10 on her second. She "fully" entered the world (there was some confusion on when they should say she was born because her head was out earlier) at 5:12 am on February 19th.
After all of the craziness died down and I finally got to hold my precious Joy, the doctor, a christian, looked at me and my mom and said, "Well, its obvious someone was watching out for you guys." To which my mom replied, "We all know who."
Talking with the nurse and the Doctor and looking at how things played out, we've learned a few things that point to Gods grace and his plan:
1. Even though I hated it, being overdue was a blessing because I was induced.
2. Because I was induced, myself and baby were monitored all day.
3. Likely, the reason I was overdue was because she couldn't drop low enough into the birth canal to help bring on labor. (She could have basically hung herself with her cord if she dropped earlier)
4. We were told that I should have had a cesarian section and even then it could have been iffy.
5. The added pain was likely because her head wasn't low enough to help things along
6. thankfully, I had extra pain because it caused me to have the epidural.
7. Without the epidural I don't think I could have made it through holding her in for so long while waiting for the doctor, or holding her in so they could clamp and cut the cords.
8. Thankfully, we had a nurse that wanted to play it safe and she forced us to wait. (After everything had settled, the nurse looked at me and said, "see thats why I always wait for the doctor.")
God has blessed us so much and has walked us through so much to get to this point. We are constantly reminded of his plans for us and for our family and each individual child. His hand is so evident.
 |
| Proud Daddy wouldn't leaver her side. |
 |
| Long fingers and toes. |
 |
| Getting examined by her siblings. Her toes were tickled and even smelled by her big brother. |
 |
| Little A was so excited to get to hold her and give her kisses. |
 |
| Only one of us in this photo was very tired after being awake more than 24 hours. (Hint: Its Me) |
 |
| So snuggly and perfect. I am in love. |
No comments:
Post a Comment