Tuesday, 3 September 2013

Heavy and Tired for Easy and Light

The second day after we returned home from our trip we got to go back in for another Ultrasound to check up on our baby.

The doctor and the ultrasound doctor both wanted to double check that the hematomas that I have had gone away and not gotten any larger or threatening loss of the baby.

Little A, who was very attached to us since our return home, was very upset about daddy and mommy both leaving her again even if for just a little while.  She asked if she could come see the baby with us and since she is pretty good at sitting still and is very excited about the idea of a new baby we had her come along.

We were just nearly 16 weeks along when we had our ultrasound and it is a little early to see what the baby is gender wise, but the Dr said he may be able to tell and asked if we wanted to know.   We have found out with both pregnancies previously and we have tossed around the idea of not finding out. We figured it may be nice to have a surprise.  But with how I have been feeling this time around and my gut feelings, I kinda figured I knew what it was going to be so we decided to find out if we could. My money is on a girl and has been since I learned that I was pregnant.

The scan began and again my heart melted for the little life kicking and wiggling inside of me.

Cute little profile photo

Head and Arms, one is up by its face.

Head and Back/Side including spine.

This one is a little tricky, its of the baby's crossed feet. 

This one is the one that made Little A cry.  IT'S A BOY!

Head with Arm Up by face. 

That's right! We are having a baby Boy!

Little A was devastated and cried all the way home.  She has since begun to be okay with the idea but sounds like she is expecting me to have another baby and that one had better be a girl.
Little A has been praying for a baby since shortly after we had the E Man, and every time, she has prayed that it would be a little sister.

The ultrasound not only brought us good news of our LITTLE BOY ( I have to keep repeating it to myself because I almost don't believe it, thats why we were sent home with the picture of his business). It also brought the news that everything looks perfect.

God is so good!

All of their previous concerns are taken care of and everything looks the way it should.

now they are worried about this.

That is our little guy's heart.  It has a big white spot in the left ventricle, its called echogenic cardiac foci, and is commonly referred to as "golf balls on the heart". 

This can be a sign of a heart defect or trisomy 21 (down syndrome).  
All other normal markers of down syndrome are not present but apparently they felt the need to share this news with me just to freak me out. 

My poor mom is just horrified. She just can't believe that I constantly have something going wrong with my pregnancies.  I just don't get a break. 

I tried to remind her that really God just likes to show me that He is in control. He has the power and I just get to sit back and watch as over and over again He proves that He loves me and my little ones.  That I have no reason to fear because He is bigger than their medicine and machines.  He knows my baby inside and out and is putting it together as we speak. And that is pretty mind blowing. 

God sent me to these verses today. 

The story is from Deuteronomy 1 and it is when the Israelites are leaving Horeb and are heading to the Promised Land. 

Then I said to you, “You have reached the hill country of the Amorites, which the Lord our God is giving us. See, the Lord your God has given you the land. Go up and take possession of it as the Lord, the God of your ancestors, told you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

 Then all of you came to me and said, “Let us send men ahead to spy out the land for us and bring back a report about the route we are to take and the towns we will come to.”

 The idea seemed good to me; so I selected twelve of you, one man from each tribe.  They left and went up into the hill country, and came to the Valley of Eshkol and explored it.  Taking with them some of the fruit of the land, they brought it down to us and reported, “It is a good land that the Lord our God is giving us.”

But you were unwilling to go up; you rebelled against the command of the Lord your God.
 You grumbled in your tents and said, “The Lord hates us; so he brought us out of Egypt to deliver us into the hands of the Amorites to destroy us.  Where can we go? Our brothers have made our hearts melt in fear. They say, ‘The people are stronger and taller than we are; the cities are large, with walls up to the sky. We even saw the Anakites there.’”

 Then I said to you, “Do not be terrified; do not be afraid of them.  The Lord your God, who is going before you, will fight for you, as he did for you in Egypt, before your very eyes,  and in the wilderness. There you saw how the Lord your God carried you, as a father carries his son, all the way you went until you reached this place.”

Deuteronomy 1:20-31

I was reminded how often I doubt. How often I run in fear and wait and stay frozen and inactive.  We are called to trust, to believe, and to follow whole heartedly.   Thankfully, even though it is hard to do, it is greatly rewarded.  

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Matthew 11:28-30

1 comment:

  1. Fix your thoughts on what is true & good & right...He is our strength, our protector, provider, and loves us so much.

    1 The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. 2 He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, 3 he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. 4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. 5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. 6 Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever. Ps 23

    Before each grandchild is born, He has already put such a strong love in my heart for them. They have a hedge of protection placed around them daily and direction for their lives as they walk in the truth.