Friday, 13 September 2013

Love is... Respect

I am very excited to introduce you to the beginning of a New Series that I am doing for Deliberate Love

 The "Love is?" Challenge...

This is a Challenge that I am working on putting together for you all with the help of my sister and some other lovely ladies. The Series will be all about working towards showing Love and Respect to our spouse in a way that really speaks to them.  

We all struggle with showing love. We all can improve.  And this is by no means a step by step plan that will guarantee that you and your spouse will get along better, feel more connected, or even like each other more.  But I hope and pray that it does.   And if it doesn't, keep trying, keep praying and don't stop working at it.   

I saw a great comic or picture the other day( cant remember where I found it but it has stuck in my mind). The picture showed an old couple celebrating their 50th anniversary or something, and the conversation went as follows. " I can't believe we have been married for so long!"  "Well, we come from a time when people would fix whats broken not just throw it away." 

We have been called to walk a different path than the rest of the world. We are not to take the easy way out and we have to work really hard to keep holy what God intended for his glory but we screw up so badly sometimes  all the time. 

Don't copy the behaviour and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. 
This is Us! I realized I haven't posted a recent
photo of me and my Handsome Hubby. 
Romans 12:2 NLT

So here it goes. I hope you come along for the ride.  Subscribe or follow if you want, that way you can get emails sent to your inbox when a new post is up. 

(Also,  At the end of the challenge there will be a give away!!)

1.  Love is...Respect 

Little A is a total encourager. She is constantly telling us how great we are at things and how well we are doing different tasks. She is always finding something to encourage us with. 

Hubby has been working on finishing up our basement bathroom. Little A was "helping" him with tiling the shower. Really, all she was doing was holding a screwdriver and watching her daddy work, but she was also encouraging him and keeping him company which is something he loves. 

"Ohhh, Daddy, they are so beautiful. You are doing such a great job."

A few days before that, I had some hair extensions in and she immediately responded with, " Mommy, You look amazing. Just like a princess." 

I have heard things like, "Daddy is a really good worker." 
"You look really pretty today mommy. I like your outfit."
"Aunty, your a really good mommy. And so am I." (referring to her Minnie Mouse toy)

Sometimes I am totally blown away by my little encourager.  A lot of her character qualities and little quirks come from her dad and myself, but with this, I can't take the credit, I don't encourage nearly enough.  It feels like she has developed this amazing quality all on her own.  She just loves to lift people up and that makes me so happy.  

We do try to encourage her as much as we can and we really do try to use positive reinforcement as much as possible in our parenting. But they way that Little A does it, it seems like a gifting. It goes beyond just trying to copy how we speak to her, she goes out of her way to say something nice. 

The tongue can bring death or life;
those who love to talk will reap the consequences.
Proverbs 18:21

You brood of snakes! How could evil men like you speak what is good and right? For whatever is in your heart determines what you say.
Matthew 12:34

Out of our hearts come the words that we speak. 
How we think and feel about our spouse becomes what we say about them, be it to them or about them when they are not around.  

I am totally guilty of saying disrespectful things about my husband when he is not around.  I may not speak disrespect to his face that often ( I am guilty of that too), but when I am out with friends the conversation often turns to the frustrations that are going on in our lives and lets be honest, thats often our kids and our husbands.   

Mark Driscoll talks about The Respectful Wife in his book and in a sermon series that he did for Mars Hill Church. It can be found online Here and is amazing, the whole series is. One of the things that he calls women out on is that even when we get together in bible studies and women's groups at the church, we often sit around and disrespect our spouses.  We may word it as a prayer request but what we say about our spouse often ends up being us talking badly about them. 

I feel so loved, blessed and lifted up by the little encouragements that I get from my daughter. Hubby feels lifted up and respected when I encourage him, when I show him respect with my words. 

Just like the verse at the beginning of the post says, Romans 12:2, we need to let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.  We need God to change how we think about our husband and that will change the words that come out of our mouth towards him or about him. 

So for the challenge this week, my challenge is threefold. 

Firstly, pray for you and your spouse as you embark in this and ask for God's help and guidance on how to make this work the best for you and your Hubby.

Secondly, think nice thoughts about your husband, write them down if you have to, make a list, whatever it takes, but remember all those amazing qualities that drew you to him and that make you love him. (whats in your heart determines what you say)

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 
Phillipians 4:8

Lastly, hold your tongue.  If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. 

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
1 Thessalonians 5:11

Please let me know how its going, I would love to hear from you. I will be struggling along side of you and would love to be encouraged knowing I am not alone in this.  Blessings. 

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