Friday, 21 December 2012

Respected - Deliberate Love

Sorry that it took so long for me to talk about deliberate love again. I will make another post about it more in depth after the holidays. 
But I thought that in this crazy time, when its often just easier to do it ourselves and make our husbands feel useless or not needed, that we all needed a little reminder to slow down and let them be the man, take charge, and to get involved. 

Marriage, at its core, is all about respect for the other person - and respect goes both ways. But today's culture disses men at every turn. Men don't get respect from anyone, let alone their wives. Sitcoms portray them as dolts who are so inept that they can't figure anything out, as buffoons who think through their fly. Actresses announce, "I'm going to have a child," but there's no mention of a father, a husband. The pervasive mentality in today's society is: " Who needs a man? They're good for nothing!" So that means men are left hanging out there, feeling they're not respected, not needed, and certainly not important." 

~  Dr Kevin Leman,  Have a New Husband By Friday

Just to make you aware I do receive a small percentage of any sales made from this link. 

I have only just begun reading this book but already am enjoying it immensely.  I have had many friends recommend it and so far it has lived up to expectations. 

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.  Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her  to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,  and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.  In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.  After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church—  for we are members of his body.  “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.  However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Ephesians 5:22:33

I am fully aware that I often struggle with showing my hubby respect.  That I want and need him. That without him things would be much more difficult and that he is greatly needed by my children and myself. 

From Dr Leman's words, I am not alone.  Our culture is showing men that they are not important or needed.   

Think of how wonderful your husband would feel if you made an effort all week to show that he is respected, needed, loved.  

How can we show them that they are respected and needed in our lives? There are so many wonderful resources out there about this topic. Here are a few links that I have found, I am sure there are many many more.  

Marriage has a substantive list of 100 Ways You can Love your Husband His Way.

Power to Change has a great list of 10 Steps Toward Respecting Your Husband

I also found a wonderful list of 25 ways to Communicate Respect to your Husband without saying a word, found here at

We need to remember that we are not made to live life like the rest of the world. The world shows us that men are not of value and we can get along without them. God shows us that he made men in his image, with purpose and value.  

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Romans 12:2

So God created mankind in his own image,
    in the image of God he created them;
    male and female he created them.

Genesis 1:27

In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will,  in order that we, who were the first to put our hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory.

Ephesians 1:11-12

Baking with Daddy, it takes longer, makes a bigger mess, but is so much fun. 

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