Monday, 15 October 2012

Deliberate Love Stage 1 - Follow Up

It has been a week since we started our attempt at Deliberate Love. You can read about why and what we are doing here.

I have to say it started out very slowly. It was a big effort to remember and think about holding hands. It seemed like there was not a lot of opportunity in the first two days. We found it really easy to just not put in the effort.

It really was not as simple as it sounds. Especially when you are busy doing a million other things.
It seems so simple to just hold hands more, and I was truly surprised to find that it took so much effort.

After a bumpy and slow start at the beginning of the week, things started to get easier. It became much less of an effort and I didn't have to think about it so much.  It is still very easy to ignore or forget about doing it, but it is starting to come a lot more naturally.

Yesterday, almost a full week later, I found myself reaching for his hand without even thinking about it. Not because we said we would try for the week, but because I actually wanted to.  (which was not something I was doing much since Little E)

On the receiving side of things, being the "holdee" not the "holder"(as weird as that sounds), it felt really nice to have Mr T reaching for my hand to hold. It reminded me of when we were first dating. Of the first time he held my hand or how we used to sit for hours holding hands while driving or watching movies.

It was interesting that even though I new we were kinda "forcing" the hand holding, it felt nice to have him want to hold my hand, to touch me and be connected.  Its such a simple thing but it really did make me feel loved, appreciated, desired and comfortable.

It didn't come as easy as we thought it would, it has gotten better, but we both think that we could try a little harder and be a bit more deliberate. Take more of the opportunities that we get to hold hands.

So we are going to continue this stage for another week. Hopefully this week we can try a little harder, take advantage of our opportunities and be a little closer.  Things are still crazy busy but it has really helped to feel connected when we are together, and to feel like we are both putting forth some effort in our marriage and making it stronger and better.

these people have shown me the best example of working on a marriage.
Thanks for teaching me that "love is a choice we make everyday"

For a great talk about Marriage and discovering if you have a "Kid Centered Home"  following the link to Focus on the Family, Focus on Marriage.
Its a great website and this is a great little radio segment to help us examine our marriages.
Focus on Marriage - Reinvesting in Your Marriage 4

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